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I think I realized something. I’m really great at continuously working for specific periods of time, but I’m really horrible at actually starting to work. School is finally back, and I really wanted to finish a new video before it starts. Last month I made two videos: one normal video done in a few days, and another very long one that took a long time to finish, but I never missed a single day of work. So it was probably finished in the shortest amount of time possible (I don’t remember exactly, maybe a few weeks). Since last Tuesday, when the news dropped that school is coming back out of nowhere next Sunday, I decided to leave working on the site and focus on the new video. And now it’s 4 a.m. on Saturday and I’ve only finished like 5% of the work, maybe even less... I just wrote the intro damn it!! I’m not even sure if I want to use it! I might change it completely. Last march I had a burst of energy for editing, writing, and all that stuff. I had great momentum working on this website the month after, like I mentioned in my last blog. Anyways, since last Tuesday, I actually made more progress on this site than on the video! I updated the random gallery on the homepage, and yesterday I updated the Musik page (it's broken on mobile now hooray!!). That’s more than I’ve done on the video, which is basically just an intro I’m not even sure about. I just couldn’t put that same burst of energy for the video again. Anyways, I’ve got only one day left. Usually every last day before school goes the same way: I try to do everything I have to do over everything I want want to do, and at the end of the day I realize I’ve done nothing or barely anything. Then I remember the things I had to do like getting my uniform ready, packing my backpack, or finishing homework. But I hope this time it’s different. I’ll try to write everything I want to do tomorrow: I want to make significant progress on the video, or any progress honestly. I also need to iron my months-old wrinkled uniform, print a whole English notebook because for some reason our English teacher decided to be a jerk. lastly, just not be stressed about everything the whole day. I just hope I wake up at a reasonable hour and manage to finish everything without it all being crammed together, which is already… a bit hard to believe, since it’s already 4:30 a.m. so what “reasonable hour” am I even expecting? I have no idea, but I’ll try to set a reasonable alarm. Anyways, thank you for reading all that, and I’ll catch you next time, hopefully with the new videodone. It’s a pretty emotional one ü .
I've been obsessed with working on this site. Since I've opened it, I have not wasted a single day without editing and updating it. I've made many new pages, like the Musik! page , the Guitar page, and my new favorite, the METV page. It's just a CRT screen that plays a huge compilation of my favorite videos that I'm going to be updating all the time. Right now, I think it's around 300 videos. Still practicing guitar a bit less often because I'm hyperfixated on this site. Not really drawing, not really studying that much, honestly. I need to be doing more. I don't know why it's so obsessive even when it makes me pull my hair out trying to figure out the reason for an issue. But I don't know, I keep coming back to fix it. And I don't stop until I finally do. Well, I have to say I gave up on making it look proper on mobile. It's just so hard. Like, for example, the guitar page is completely broken on mobile (visually). Like, I gave up on fixing it. The ME page was actually the best looking page on mobile. Now it doesn't look great because of the image stack that I made on the left side of the screen. The rest, I think, look okay, but I don't really care. I'm designing it for desktop. For mobile, I'll try to just make it usable. I don't care if it looks bad. Just tick the desktop site option if it looks bad (doesn’t always fix everything, that’s just the limit of a phone screen). So yeah, this is where I'm sitting at right now. Honestly, I think I should lay back on working on this site altogether. It's holding everything back. My drawing, my studying, my guitar practice and most importantly MY SLEEP!
It's 11 p.m. Today was really annoying and stressful. I really regret going through with this goal today because the past few days were just amazing. I've done everything that I wanted.I really improved my website and added two new pages. I really recommend you check them out. The first one is an About Me page and the second one is an Art Projects page. I redesigned many of my past thumbnails.
I made this alternative design for one of my character designs. Btw I really like this version of my character and I really regret not using it enough. I made it for the thumbnail of the Flutterger Aero video, but I decided to not use it. It doesn't look good for a thumbnail, but I really think it looks good and would have been so much cooler if I used this in the video.
Anyways, enough about the YouTube talk. I really got to practice guitar really well in the past few days. I'm getting better. Faster than I imagined. I used to get really frustrated easily. I'm not really calm with stuff that I'm not great at. I get really mad if, like, I can't do something. But these past few days have been really great with the guitar. I've been, like, doing much greater than I thought I would. I slept well. I even studied well.
So about today, what made it so bad? Well, it's because I decided on making this third new page before making this blog. I wanted to make this blog and say that I made three new pages on my website. Anyways, today I set my goal to make a guest book page where anyone who visits my website can come in, leave a message with their name and their website if they had one. And it would show the date it was written, and every time someone would come, they would stack up on each other. I saw this in another website. I'll try to link it right here. And I just thought it was really, really amazing. I really wanted to implement it in my own website and…well, I couldn't do that. I've been trying for the whole day and I couldn't. And I just gave up an hour ago. And I'm really sad. I just wasted the whole day on this stupid goal that wasn't really needed. I was just really hyperfixated on it, and now I feel stupid.
Hello everyone, thank you for visiting my personal webpage. This is my first blog post.
I made this page yesterday. It's mainly for fun. Right now, it's just a blog page with like some cool images and GIFs that I added on the main page.
Honestly, I was trying to put them in order, but I couldn't figure out a way so I just slapped them around without giving any order in the code. That's why they're in random places, and I kind of dig it so I'll probably keep it like that even if I found a fix. Anyways, I may add more stuff here later.
Sorry I have to use English here because "Neocities" the platform/tool that I'm using to make and host this website
doesn't support Arabic. I thought about just using Arabic text on images, but it's just really complicated I'm not sure if it will work on this expanding window. It was complicated enough to create this honestly.(I had no prior experience in coding) So I'll keep it English for now.
Thank you for visiting again and I’ll catch you next time ü
