Yapperonees!

All right, let's do this one last time. My name is Mohamed Ekbal. I was Not bitten by a radioactive spider and for the last 14 years, I've been a student in school. And now I have one last test before I graduate high school... just to go back to being a student, a collage student nowü I'm supposed to focus on my main field of study and my career path, but I just have no idea what I want.
I keep thinking about side goals and dreams that I want to accomplish after high school, some that I hate to mention in detail because I would feel embarrassed if people looked at them years later
realizing that I haven't accomplished them. So, I'll keep them for myself for now. But I'll probably just go on autopilot and become a med student, hopefully if I get good enough marks ofcourse. But I'm not too worried about it anymore. If I really, really hated it, I know that I can change my field of study. Yes, that would be a waste of a few years of my life, but I don't really care anymore. Worrying about it was just not helping at all.
What I should be worrying about right now is my exam on Sunday that I've been saying that I would start studying for it for the past three hours... I promise I'll start after writing this :p
See you next time I decide to yap again... AS a collage student of course!

Hello again, my beloved people. I have come back again to yap. Yes! I made a few updates to the homepage and system files page. Not really noticeable, just some quality improvements. And I have not stopped updating the music page every week and month.
For the past few days, I've been playing Super Mario 64 nonstop. I've just always loved the game, but I was just... refusing to play it because I had this device that's called the Miyoo Mini Plus
that I bought all the way back in 2024, thinking that I'm gonna spend plenty of time, quality time gaming on it. Well, I was wrong. I'm not gonna go into details because if I do, this thread won't end. But I've encountered countless issues and I tried fixing them and I kept blaming myself or my SD cards.
eventually I accepted that my device is just broken. I received a faulty device. And now I know that this is not the best thing to do in this situation, but you gotta understand, I was fed up with this device.
Nonetheless…, I Recorded myself smashing it to pieces! It's really sad. When this device was working in the little times it was, it was amazing! I really wanted to play the DS version of Super Mario 64 on it, finish The Minish Cap and many other games. I've tried so hard to enjoy it, but it's just a broken device. I cannot do anything about that. And I don't have the money to buy a new one... At least I got a cool edit out of it ü
That's why I finally started emulating games on my main devices, like my iPad, which I have been playing Super Mario 64 on for the past few days. I’m glad at least it's a big screen, I can connect my controller, and it's not broken! I've been having a ton of fun. I think I have around 40 stars by now.
I got stuck on a few levels and decided to stop right here because, just a reminder, my final exams are just a week away. And of course, I did study, but I'm nowhere near finished or free. And it's really okay, I think. I should give it a break. I am only a little worried about math for now. But in general, it's cool. I'm always worried about math. Even after I finish math, I'm worried about math. So it's nothing out of the ordinary.
Anyways, thank you for coming again to read this… BYE BYE!!

I just made a new video showcasing my website to my fans. Actually, some of them knew about it already since day one because I posted about it on my third anniversary,
April 11th, on the community tab. And I kept posting a few updates for the past month. So a few of my subscribers, like maybe 15, around 15 of them already knew about it from my forum on YouTube. But I thought, I thought this website deserved more recognition from my general audience, and that it deserves a whole video. And the video, unsurprisingly, is doing well. Better than normal, at least. I'm saying unsurprisingly because I've been noticing a pattern with my subscribers. Every time I release a random chill video, just talking to my fans, just like this one, explaining a side project where it doesn't sound inciting at all and it's clear this is just a low-effort video. I didn’teven design a thumbnail until like an hour later from the video’s release. The video gets much more attention than usual. Not only that, but much more engagement too. Most of my videos are a slow burn. They start very slowly and barely get faster, but also don't stop getting views for a long time. Like for example, a video that I uploaded last August, which initially I was disappointed because it was the first video with an amount of views this low is still getting more views to this day. Yeah, it's still low compared to everything before it, but it's nice to know that it's still burning and that it's at least miles higher than where it sat when I uploaded the video after. I think it was around 300 views back then. Now it has 840.
And as I said, these updates are never stopping (mostly consistently getting only a few views a month ), so if you have checked a month ago, it would have been probably at 800 and something. Engagement is still very low, though. 99% of comments and such only appear on the first few days, even if the video keeps getting views for months. Actually, I just noticed this disturbing comment. And it just knocked the thought out of me.
I don't know how did I not see it before. It's from five months ago. This commenter is saying : “My dad put a knife on my neck once in front of his friends. And believe me, if I tell him, he won't remember. So it's okay.” For reference, in this video, I'm explaining the phenomenon known as the Mandela effect. I don't think this is a Mandela effect. I don't know, maybe he had a nightmare once. It must be remembered by more people to be called that or else it’s probably just a false memory. My mind is, like, my thoughts are falling apart now because of this comment.

UPDATE: This comment is even weirder than I thought. First of all, as I said, I never noticed it, even though it was made five months ago. Second of all, even though I haven't liked or responded to this comment, it doesn't show up whenever I choose unresponded comments. It only showed up when I sorted by newest comments on that specific video. Not only that, but when I tried replying to the comment, it constantly gave me errors. But it's still there, lingering. I'm not gonna delete it.
Honestly, I relate to this commenter, as I remember having these random disturbing memories as a kid always and thinking that no one would believe me if I tell them. And I truly believed them at the time, but if you ask me now, I realize they were probably either nightmares or just false memories. (I consumed a lot of horror media specifically creepy pasta as a kid so I think it’s normal). I think this commenter suffers from the same issue, but has yet to realize that it's probably just a false memory, even after watching my video about false memories and Mandela effects. And as I said, I tried replying to this comment, but it keeps giving me errors.
I don't know what's wrong with this comment, but it's weirdly fitting how this disturbing comment is somehow glitched out,
and I somehow never noticed it until five months later while writing this post. So I had to write about it . Maybe I should make a blog for oddities and stuff that I can combine later and make a compilation of oddities
and mysteries video... That's a cool idea.

…I took a screenshot of the comment in case it got lost…

I'm sorry. What did I even want to explain? Oh yeah, my random chill videos. Yeah, I think it's because most of my videos are, have unclear, vague titles and thumbnails. I'm even explaining weirder topics. So maybe it's just harder to get into. So people still like tuning in, but most of them wouldn't engage. When I upload long videos, they views come in even slower. Probably because it’s even harder to get into. But when I make a random chill, simple video, many come in quickly because it looks simple. Not only that, but it's also easy to engage with. Many of my friends who don't watch my content watch these videos and comment. Which always catches me off guard. Like, wow, when was the last time this guy opened my channel? Anyways, I don't know what to do with that information. Because I'm not gonna get any less weird. I actually always try to think about weirder topics and how can I present them in a weirder, more unique way, how can I be more uncanny. Like even in this simple video, I added some random details that are just a bit weird for no reason, like the background music choice, the way I make every clip just a bit longer than it should, just so that there is always some awkward silence in the video and some accidental voice cuts here and there. They always start as unintentional mistakes. I mostly fix them, but sometimes I just decide to leave them. Sometimes, not only do I leave them, but also deliberately make them worse. Just for the sake of it. Accompanied by my awkward acting in front of the camera, this video is just a weird mess, and I love it. Anyways, I also updated the website a lot the day before I recorded the video.
I made a whole new interface for the Musik page, and now it's my favorite page ü! It was my least favorite because of how simple it was. I also updated this page, you probably noticed the blogs are now inside drawers.
I learned that the day I made the video, and I finally started using it in multiple pages. I'm also planning on adding additional videos to METV, and I'm thinking about an idea for a new page, new interactive page. I think it's gonna be cool if I can make... What I'm imagining. It needs taking a lot of pictures,
and I already took all of them today >:D. Now I just need to make it. I hope I can do it. Very stupid of me ü, right after saying that I am on the verge of entering my final exams and I'm not going to touch the website. I should stop myself.. probably. Anyways, thank you for tuning in again. Or maybe you're here from years in the future! Both is good. Anyways, I'll catch you again next time. Peace and blessings my deers!
Longest post yet btw!

I think I realized something. I'm really great at continuously working for specific periods of time, but I'm really horrible at actually starting to work. School is finally back, and I really wanted to finish a new video before it starts. Last month I made two videos: one normal video done in a few days, and another very long one that took a long time to finish, but I never missed a single day of work. So it was probably finished in the shortest amount of time possible (I don't remember exactly, maybe a few weeks).
Since last Tuesday, when the news dropped that school is coming back out of nowhere next Sunday, I decided to leave working on the site and focus on the new video.
And now it's 4 a.m. on Saturday and I've only finished like 5% of the work, maybe even less... I just wrote the intro damn it!! I'm not even sure if I want to use it! I might change it completely. Last march I had a burst of energy for editing, writing, and all that stuff. I had great momentum working on this website the month after, like I mentioned in my last blog.
Anyways, since last Tuesday, I actually made more progress on this site than on the video! I updated the random gallery on the homepage, and yesterday I updated the Musik page (it's broken on mobile now hooray!!).
That's more than I've done on the video, which is basically just an intro I'm not even sure about. I just couldn't put that same burst of energy for the video again. Anyways, I've got only one day left. Usually every last day before school goes the same way: I try to do everything I have to do over everything I want want to do, and at the end of the day I realize I've done nothing or barely anything. Then I remember the things I had to do like getting my uniform ready, packing my backpack, or finishing homework. But I hope this time it's different. I'll try to write everything I want to do tomorrow: I want to make significant progress on the video, or any progress honestly.
I also need to iron my months-old wrinkled uniform, print a whole English notebook because for some reason our English teacher decided to be a jerk. lastly, just not be stressed about everything the whole day. I just hope I wake up at a reasonable hour and manage to finish everything without it all being crammed together, which is already… a bit hard to believe, since it's already 4:30 a.m. so what "reasonable hour" am I even expecting? I have no idea, but I'll try to set a reasonable alarm. Anyways...,
thank you for reading all that, and I'll catch you next time, hopefully with the new video done. It's a pretty emotional one ü .

I've been obsessed with working on this site. Since I've opened it, I have not wasted a single day without editing and updating it. I've made many new pages, like the Musik! page, the Guitar page, and my new favorite, the METV page. It's just a CRT screen that plays a huge compilation of my favorite videos that I'm going to be updating all the time. Right now, I think it's around 300 videos. Still practicing guitar a bit less often because I'm hyperfixated on this site. Not really drawing, not really studying that much, honestly. I need to be doing more. I don't know why it's so obsessive even when it makes me pull my hair out trying to figure out the reason for an issue. But I don't know, I keep coming back to fix it. And I don't stop until I finally do. Well, I have to say I gave up on making it look proper on mobile. It's just so hard. Like, for example, the guitar page is completely broken on mobile (visually). Like, I gave up on fixing it. The ME page was actually the best looking page on mobile. Now it doesn't look great because of the image stack that I made on the left side of the screen. The rest, I think, look okay, but I don't really care. I'm designing it for desktop. For mobile, I'll try to just make it usable. I don't care if it looks bad. Just tick the desktop site option if it looks bad (doesn't always fix everything, that's just the limit of a phone screen). So yeah, this is where I'm sitting at right now. Honestly, I think I should lay back on working on this site altogether. It's holding everything back. My drawing, my studying, my guitar practice and most importantly MY SLEEP!